Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I believe in your delicious
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
