oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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