So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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