I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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