so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
