if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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