you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
