Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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