If that was your dad, he is hot
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
