I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
