So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
