Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
