allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
