Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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