I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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