People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize