Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No subtext here. People are naked.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
