I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
