I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
