So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
