hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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