how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
