I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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