I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
