It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
