I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
