she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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