I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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