Yo dont text me then not text me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
