I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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