I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
