just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Randomize
