How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
3pm strippers are depressing
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
