New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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