eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
