Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
