HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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