now i know why i became what i already was.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
