1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
