he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize