yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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