Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
