trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
