So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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