'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
how drunk are you?
Several
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
