Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
