Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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