so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
