wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
