New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
