She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
