i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
