What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize