Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
