Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
