I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This house was built for laser tag.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
