I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
