I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize