I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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