the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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